sometimes i wonder, do i really want to be with him?
does he love me because we have something in common?
or he loves me because he has to and that he's getting old and needs someone already?
is he just being a gentle man and sticking up to his words "i love you" but the truth is he doesn't really mean it but he doesn't want me to get hurt?
all this questions are just a bunch of questions not bothering to be answered....
questions i keep asking myself but i don't really know why i'm asking them
i'm inlove, he's a great guy, smart, lovable, huggable, funny, great sence of humor, but, he's not at all romantic (i think) well he thinks about my welfare and all but then when it comes to being romantic, i have to say he is failing!
how can i teach him? everytime i feel i needed reminding that somebody loves me, someone "special", he's never there...
anybody having this situation? join the club!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
confused mind speaks again!
Monday, April 6, 2009
lakawon trip
it was fun! we woke up 6 am, on the road by 830 am, arrived in Lakawon around quarter to 10, Jesse went there with the speedboat together with captain joey (also a pilot) with his wife annie, and maxine (their daughter)... it was soooo fun! jesse and joey went skiing, my cousins went banana boat riding, my dad went snorcling, my aunt and uncle went swimming, my brother and lolo slept, my mom studied her reviewer for NCLEX, all in all it was a day to relax! mommy, (though she was studying) felt relaxed also because of the ambiance, we had fun and didn't want that day to end, but it had to, jesse, joey and his family had to go back to manila and work, everybody went back to bacolod... but it was a moment worth remembering! hehehehe
Friday, February 6, 2009
excerpts from the lyrics of the songs i can relate to right now!
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you
This is my only chance to do all I can do
To let you know that what I feel for you is real
So hold me close cause it feels so right
This is my last chance to make it mine
Make this dream reality
So close and yet so far
Gotta find a way into your heart
Gotta speak my mind
Gotta open up to you this time
I can't let you slip away tonight
This is my last dance with you
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
i guess this is LOVE
before you went home i already tried to condition my self and told myself that you're here because of business matters but i could not stop my self from hoping that even just for a moment you could stop everything and concentrate your thoughts on me. i know this business is important and i'm doing the best i can to adjust and listen to your problems. i'm trying so hard but sometimes i feel like vomiting over this issues! i just wish we could put them aside everytime we get to see/ spend time together. i'm just so DAMN tired of listening to it! you talk about it with your family, with friends, with me, and sometimes i tend to absorb the negative side of it and it just ruins our moment. we only get to see each other once, twice or thrice a month and all you ever talk about is business business business! i'm sick and tired of all this!
when i took you to the airport yesterday i never said a word that's because i wanted you to notice me being quiet, but i failed, obviously you didn't. when you kissed me goodbye i was waiting for you to say you love me but again you didn't, this past few days i feel like i'm the only one doing all the efforts. you know what's funny? depspite all these, i don't think i have the guts to leave you because i know i could get hurt and i won't be able to stand the pain, i can't and i won't leave you. i just want you to notice what i'm doing coz i don't think you do.
know it's all out of my system! thanks to this blogsite, i've said everything i wanted to say... i don't care if some of you, reading this blog, thinks i'm stupid for staying, i don't really care!
Friday, January 23, 2009
this morning!
woke up this morning feeling down...
it's another one of those mornings
when you don't understand yourself
hormones changing?
i don't know!
relationship fading?
i don't think so!
ballet rehearsals?
they're doing fine!
career priority?
it will come in due time!
see! no problems here...
everything's doing ok!
but why the DOWN feeling?!
maybe it's just because this freakin' coffee maker's not working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
whats the latest?
it has been over a year since i last posted on this blog site! hehhehehe
d naman! hheeheh my last post was 2008, now it's 2009! wooopeeee!
anyway! i don't know where to start... :)
my new year was a little bit special, it wasn't that i spent it with jesse, that's the sad part coz he had to fly out of the country for Christmas eve and new years eve! huhuhuh BUT! i still felt that those days were special aside from the fact that i spent it with my family, Jesse and I were able to talk using skype!
here are some pictures we had when Jesse went home before Christmas
the gang!
me and jesse
our reunion!
check out my friendster album "bacolod" for more pictures
