this is what i like!

a day all by yourself... sitting in a corner, drinking coffee and eating strawberry mousse cake... reminds me of old days when i use to love eating strawberries and drinking coffee in the condo in manila when i was having my summer workshop in Ballet Philippines...

after i graduate i think im going to concentrate on my dancing career... i don't care if my pacing is slow, or that i'm too old for the company, i just want to dance coz it's the only way i can express my inner self to the outside world... i'm not good at writing, drawing, painting, etc. but i know i can still develop the dancer that inside me that was put to sleep when my dad told me i should take nursing... i took nursing alright... but after this, its goodbye injections and hello toeshoes... ahhahahaha

i think everybody has the right to fulfill their dreams right? soon, if i feel that this dream is going nowhere coz let's face it, at this age im suppose to be dancing with a company already but instead im stuck in my hometown, studying nursing (still dancing but not that strict training), then maybe i can find a job as a nurse or i can open up my own ballet school/studio and teach kids... i think i'll be good at it... i'm good with kids, so i guess i can do it...


goodluck to me and my dreams! :)

a need for someone to comfort me

it's been weeks... i still feel the same.... how can i put all of my feelings in words!

i envy those families that have understanding parents... how i wish i have them also...

here's the story... ever since i got here it's been so chaotic... sometimes i imagine myself in a beach, walking along the shore all by myself. that's the kind of life i want to have, a calm and peaceful life... or sometimes i wish i can fulfill my dreams without people telling me what to do and what not to do. it's been a battle for me, to try and understand their childishness but sometimes i feel i can't take it anymore. they want this, they want that... don't i get to decide what i want for myself? i've been living 21 years trying to please them, but i feel whatever i do makes them disappointed with me... it's really really hard trying to please them and at the same time trying to please myself.

here's another story... i can't stand watching their dramas anymore! they fight, and cry, and fight, and cry, its just too much for me already! they fight because one of them doesn't have the heart to understand the other, they keep fighting because of pride! one of them is not happy and contented with the little things given to hhim/her. they still ask for more! he/she wants to do everything according to what he/she wants! really! it gets on my nerve to see this situation. situations like this can be avoided by trying to sit and talk, one wants to talk, the other avoids talking, what the fuck is that!!!!!!

another thing is the endless nagging and complaining! i tell you... if you live in our house you will need an earphone all day everyday! what's even worse is she acts the opposite when infront of people and tries to narrate stories that would crush us, coz those stories were suppose to be for "close family relatives" those knows us better and would just laugh at our mistakes and won't hold it against us!

i'm venting this all out here coz i realized it's the only place i can be right now and it's the only company i have. coz my boyfriend at the moment is nowhere to be found... he's just not so into our relationship anymore and that's another chapter of my story... it's so frustrating to have a boyfriend who doesn't act like one... im no two timer, when i fall inlove i really do, this time i guess it's time to let go coz i feel like im the one doing all the work for this relationship to last! i've been trying to understand everything that time came i couldn't understand everybody anymore coz i feel i couldn't even uderstand myself anymore!

it's time to get connected with myself again and follow my feelings... its time to listen to my inner self and understand what im going through and maybe from there i can start all over again.

thanks for being here...
i will be seeing you again...
and i'll keep writing my day to day stories...
mwahz!

Acer Aspire One BIOS Recovery

The AA1 has a built-in BIOS recovery routine, which makes it possible to flash the BIOS even if the system doesn't boot anymore. It's only meant for emergencies, that's why it's also known as crisis disk mode. Use at your own risk.

First format an USB flash drive with FAT.

Download the latest BIOS, extract all files from the zip file, put both FLASHIT.EXE and the BIOS file with FD suffix in the root directory of the drive. The files must not be in a folder. Rename the BIOS file to ZG5IA32.FD, that's important.

Turn the AA1 off, with the USB drive still connected, and make sure both battery and AC adapter are also connected.

Press Fn+Esc, keep it pressed and press the power button. Release Fn+Esc after a few seconds, the power button will be blinking. Press the power button once. The AA1 will now initiate the BIOS flash, do not interrupt it under any circumstances. After a while the power button will stop blinking, and the AA1 will reboot shortly after. Wait patiently.

The BIOS has been flashed and all settings reset to default.

If it doesn't reboot by itself, but the power button still blinks, wait a few minutes before turning it off, and try again.



--- this saved my laptop! :)

desperate

i want to go somewhere today...
somewhere i can find peace...
someplace silent and calm...
i want to go swimming in a pool of roses
i wanna escape the heat of the sun
i wanna smell morning dew when i wake up
i wanna take pictures of great memories
i wanna leave right away and never come back
where is this place?
i don't know yet
can someone please take me there
coz i don't know where it is
but i know it's somewhere out there

september 22,2009

today was the same day as everyday... people envy you just because you know a lot of things! they call you "feeler" just because you can explain and present well in class... they call you "others" coz you know how to convers in English... isn't that pathetic!

some of them wants to pull you down becaus they can't reach your level! the hell i care... if I allow myself to be pulled down and stoop down to their level i guess i'll be as dumb as them... so i won't allow it! you may call me "feeler" "others" etc.etc. I won't mind coz i know i'll benefit from all this later on in life. they'll remaine stupid... lots of "hahahah's" for me... all i need are my true friends, and my special someone's in life... :)


i can't believe i'm actually blogging using my new Laptop! hahahahah weeeeeeeeeee! :) watch out for more blogs soon! :)

latest leakage of MJ's Autopsy

THE horrifying state of pop superstar Michael Jackson in his final days can be revealed by The Sun today.

Harrowing leaked autopsy details show the singer was a virtual skeleton — barely eating and with only pills in his stomach at the time he died.

His hips, thighs and shoulders were riddled with needle wounds — believed to be the result of injections of narcotic painkillers, given three times a day for years.

And a mass of surgery scars were thought to be the legacy of at least 13 cosmetic operations.

Experts found the distressing evidence of Jacko’s physical decline while investigating his startling death in Los Angeles last week.

The examination showed the 5ft 10in star — once famed for his on-stage athleticism — had:

PLUNGED to a “severely emaciated” 8st 1oz. It is understood anorexic Jackson had been eating just one meagre meal a day.

Pathologists found his stomach empty aside from partially-dissolved pills he took before the painkiller injection which stopped his heart. Samples were sent for toxicology tests.

LOST virtually all his hair. The pop pin-up was wearing a wig when he died and pathologists said little more than “peach fuzz” covered his scalp.

A scarred section of skin above his left ear was entirely bald — apparently the result of a 1984 accident when his hair caught fire as he filmed an ad for Pepsi.

SUFFERED several broken ribs as frantic rescuers pumped his chest after he collapsed in cardiac arrest. Four injection sites were found above or near to Jacko’s heart.

All appeared to result from attempts to pump adrenaline directly into the organ in a failed bit to restart it.

Three of the injections had penetrated the heart wall — causing damage — but a fourth missed and hit one of the 50-year-old star’s ribs.

The autopsy also found unexplained BRUISING on Jackson’s knees and on the fronts of both shins. And there were CUTS on his back, indicating a recent fall.

The King of Pop’s once handsome face bore a network of plastic surgery scars, while the bridge to his nose had vanished and its right side had partially collapsed.

As inquiries into the tragedy last night focused on the star’s personal physician Dr Conrad Murray, a source close to the Jackson entourage said: “Michael’s family and fans will be horrified when they realise the appalling state he was in.

“He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out and had been eating nothing but pills when he died. Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he’d been in terminal decline for years.

“His doctors and the hangers-on stood by as he self-destructed. Somebody is going to have to pay.”

Cardiologist Dr Murray was thought to have given Jackson the final injection of painkiller Demerol.

He is facing serious questions about his resuscitation attempts, which began when he started CPR as Jacko lay unconscious on a bed. Basic first aid guidance says patients must be face-up on a hard surface before compressions.

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Experts yesterday expressed amazement that a trained cardiologist could have made such an error, potentially wasting vital minutes.

Additional damage was believed to have been caused by oxygen masks and tubing inserted during resuscitation attempts. But in an ironic twist, the probe found Jacko was recovering well from skin cancer — with an op to shave cells from his chest a total success.

A second autopsy demanded by the Jackson family was carried out at a secret location on Saturday after the first ruled out foul play.

Family friend Rev Jesse Jackson said the family were deeply suspicious about what caused his death.

Dr Murray was hired just 11 days ago by AEG Live — the firm masterminding Jacko’s 50-date residency at London’s O2 Arena, which was due to start next month.

Sources claimed the family were preparing a multi-million-dollar lawsuit against the cardiologist.

Detectives were unable to find the doctor at Jackson’s home and his car was taken away for analysis as police sought him for questioning. He surfaced late on Friday and was quizzed over the weekend.

The Sun told on Saturday how Jacko had developed stage fright for the first time and was terrified of performing the comeback gigs.

Aides claimed the ailing star even believed he would be KILLED if he pulled out on health grounds. We also revealed he was taking a potentially toxic cocktail of drugs.

Sources last night said prescriptions for drugs for patients other than Jacko were found at his home. Those patients were due to be quizzed.

confused mind speaks again!

sometimes i wonder, do i really want to be with him?
does he love me because we have something in common?
or he loves me because he has to and that he's getting old and needs someone already?
is he just being a gentle man and sticking up to his words "i love you" but the truth is he doesn't really mean it but he doesn't want me to get hurt?
all this questions are just a bunch of questions not bothering to be answered....
questions i keep asking myself but i don't really know why i'm asking them

i'm inlove, he's a great guy, smart, lovable, huggable, funny, great sence of humor, but, he's not at all romantic (i think) well he thinks about my welfare and all but then when it comes to being romantic, i have to say he is failing!
how can i teach him? everytime i feel i needed reminding that somebody loves me, someone "special", he's never there...

anybody having this situation? join the club!